Just got paid. You know what that means: desperation.
Desperate to eat out. desperate to buy a shirt. desperate to shop. desperate to smoke another newport. desperate for time. desperate. desperate. desperate…
While takin’ a shit, I was reading an old issue of “Adbusters” my favorite magazine. Maybe you think it’s too much info to say I took a shit today. But to me, it’s like saying, “I ate lunch”. Plus, got me thinkin on another level…i’m talkin bout both: shitting, and reading.
Shitting: a physical response to cleanse out the ‘extras’ we technically don’t need in our bodies. yadda, yadda.
Reading: a state of feeding…also a state of shitting. Shitting old notions, refining ideals, feeding the soul.
I read an interview by Bai Di, a woman who grew up in socialist China (before capitalism was brought back after Mao’s death in 1976). Most significant feeding:
We never had that much – two sets of clothes – but we never felt we should have more. You don’t have that kind of crazy desire for everything, like the need to go shopping all the time. I feel that capitalism is very good at creating a void in people’s psyche. It will teach you that the only way to feel okay is to want more.
Bai Di, that was the best mind-shat I ever did doo-doo this week.
So I just got paid.
I need new shoes. I’m gonna get my shoes repaired. And imma keep walkin on in these boots I’ve had for 6 years. The piles of shit I’ll step on along the way…time to wipe my ass, flush, and buy a new shirt hand-wash this dirty shirt I’ll probably also have for another six more years.